Grief is very distressing, sometimes you tell yourself, that you should be able to cope, but you can’t. You tell yourself that you should be over the loss but you’re not. You are faced with difficult challenges everyday, both practically and emotionally even when you have the support of a loving family. It is normal to feel a wide range of emotions, from the initial hock and disbelief. As time goes on you may find it is difficult to concentrate and organise yourself, or to control your emotions and all of this is normal.
You may often think of the person who died, sometimes painfully, sometimes with pleasant happy memories. You may notice physical changes such as loss of appetite and sleep which are common. You may also become accident prone and susceptible to colds so it is advisable to take care of yourself during this time by eating and resting well. The sense of loss and emptiness can be very difficult but in time you will begin a period of inner healing whereby you start to gain more control of your life and are able to look to the future.
Anger and fear are also part of the mourning process so try not to bottle these feelings up; they go away in time if you talk to someone you can trust. Similarly regret and guilt can also be difficult to deal with so it is important to try and reach a point where you can be realistic about the past. Try not to be too hard on yourself, or anyone else. You may find yourself grieving over previous losses which may have happened many years ago and this is also perfectly normal. There are many people that you can talk to and you may find comfort coming from those whom you never expected to listen. Whilst others may not give you the support you expected from them so try not to let this hurt you. Some people simply do not feel that they know the right things to say or do so they may avoid you. There are many organisations that exist to help you, please ask us or see the Yellow Pages for their telephone numbers.